by Cindy Jansen
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Let’s be honest—”emotional intelligence” (EQ) isn’t exactly a buzzword in most churches. We’ve heard sermons on humility, patience, and love, but understanding our emotions? Not so much. Yet, if we look closely, the Bible is full of examples where emotional intelligence is at work, and secular research shows it has real benefits.
First, let’s break down EQ: It’s the ability to recognize, understand, and manage our own emotions while also being attuned to others’ emotions. Psychologists Daniel Goleman and Peter Salovey say that people with high EQ tend to be more empathetic, self-aware, and capable of maintaining healthy relationships—qualities that sound a lot like what Jesus modeled.
The Bible and Science Agree
One of the best biblical examples of EQ is found in Proverbs 16:32: “Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.” That’s a powerful image! This verse doesn’t praise someone for their strength or boldness; it honors the person with self-control and patience—two hallmarks of emotional intelligence.
Jesus, too, showed extraordinary EQ in situations where others would have lost their cool. Think about how He remained calm with His disciples (who, let’s be honest, could be frustrating at times) and had compassion on the crowds, even when He was exhausted.
Science backs up what the Bible has been hinting at all along. Studies show that emotionally intelligent people are more successful at work, have stronger relationships, and even tend to be healthier. Who wouldn’t want that? As Christians, being emotionally intelligent helps us live out the commandment to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:31) because it enables us to truly understand others’ needs and respond with compassion.
Cultivating EQ
Here’s the tricky part, though: Cultivating EQ means being willing to look in the mirror. It’s not enough to memorize verses on kindness; we need to recognize when we’re frustrated, angry, or hurt and deal with those emotions in a healthy way. As James 1:19 says, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” That’s EQ in action!
So, if you’ve ever thought that emotional intelligence sounds too “new age” for a Christian, think again. EQ is just another way of practicing self-control, empathy, and love—the qualities Jesus taught us to embody.
If you are interested in some action steps to develop your emotional intelligence, check out next blog post.
